Opened

My skin cries out to me and once more I desire to part it like I used to. I need to see if I'm really alive, if silvery moonlight bursts through the crack in my flesh. Will I ooze out life? Opaque and shimmering, drip dropping in little beads to the floor. When I cut myself open will stars and galaxies pour forth, free from their prison? Pulsing with my heart, will they bathe me in the relief I crave? Do they live inside me? Or were they swallowed up by the black hole I sometimes feel? Am I alive?

Helpless

Sometimes I remember that my body isn't mine. Not like it used to be. Because  you took what wasn't yours. What I told you that you couldn't have. I said no, you had it anyways. I wish I could erase that night. It kills me. It's a ripping, dripping wound in my soul. There are some things that can kill you just as much as a knife or a rope. 

Woven

Trembling fingers 

Weave 

The golden threads

Between us 

How many

Nights did we spend

Sitting on the 

Front porch

Trying to count all

The stars

In the vaporous 

Night sky

Enough

That when I 

Look to the heavens

All I see in the

Constellations

Is your smile

And when the chilly

Night wind

Pinches my cheeks

And rustles my hair

I feel your touch

And

Hear your voice

My body sings

As my shawl

Of shining gold

That I wove from

You and me

Warms my shoulders

And kisses my skin

Tuesday

It'll be just like last time

On Tuesday

We'll drink vodka 

Laughing on your living room floor

Finally, we'll both get tired of pretending

And you'll lunge at me

Pushing me down on the cheap carpet

Lips on mine the whole time

We'll laugh through the others mouth

Your hands creeping up my shirt

And

And

And

Until it's useless and I'll take it off

(I think I left it under the coffee table)

Then you'll take of yours

My hands shaking

From excitement lust

And

And

And

I unhook your bra

I'm good at that by now

You take off mine

We laugh again

At ourselves 

Then our lips are together again 

And I'm still laughing

Because look at me

Just like the first time 

In your old dorm room long ago

I didn't know what to do 

But we were both drunk and

I'd gone to bed with no bra on

And

And

And

This time we giggle

On the living room floor 

Touching

Until we move to that same bed in a different bedroom 

And our giggles turn to moans

And god you feel so good

I love your skin

Your hands in my hair

What we do

And

And

And

Talk

I hear talking all around me

But I can't tell what the 

Voices are saying. 

Night Wish

I stand straight 

On the cliff edge, the world spread

Like a glittering carpet beneath me

The night sky

A tapestry of swirling blue black purple

With smatterings of 

Bright stars

That glint and laugh and twirl their 

Shining skirts

In the heavens above me and all 

I wish for 

Is to finish the ladder I've been

Building so I can start my climb

Up up up beyond the moon

To them 

I'll bring my bag of 

Captured sunlight from a 

Dancing stream

I've been collecting for years

And I'll weave myself a skirt that

I'll slip into 

So I too can join the stars 

And people miles below me

Will look up and see my twinkling

Cloths and hear my bell laugh 

And say

What a beautiful night. 

Psalm 8

O Lord our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens.

Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.

When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;

What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?

For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.

Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:

All sheep and oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field;

The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas.

O Lord, our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!

Hypocrite

You always told me to be louder,

That whispers command no respect. 

But when screamed I out all my pain,

You asked me to be quiet again. 

Stars, Salt, and Marrow

You were the stars in my night sky,

The salt in my wide sea,

And the marrow in my heavy bones.

But now the night is black, 

The sea, bitter,

And my hallow bones crack

At the merest touch. 

Breathe Out

Every breath out

Was filled with

Galaxies, universes, solar systems

Of things I could have said. 

But didn't. 

Begone

You never leave me.

I've been writing about you

For too many months. 

Summer

I craved what you did.

The feel of your hands and breath,

But you were too cruel. 

I sleep alone

I sleep alone now. 

Though I long to feel your touch,

I'm learning to cope.