3rd Time is the Charm

50 mg of sleeping pills down.

So long. Perhaps this time for real.

I'm scared, so scared, but I know it'll be ok. I wish I could tell my boyfriend I love him, Wish I could, wish I could. But he would try to save me. And I don't need saving. I need death.

I want to let someone know. So someone can tell everyone that matters all of the things I wanted them to know. All the things they needed to hear from me. To be content. To know I loved them and maybe didn't appreciate them as much as they deserved.

I want Ben to know. I want him to know I loved him more than anything. That I would be dead since October if not for him. He gave me 6 more glorious months of life. The best times in the middle of the worst. I am so grateful. I love you Ben, I really, really do.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.