21:50

But still that tiny little bit of me somewhere who knows where says no so maybe I won't but goddamn I'm feeling like shit and I literally can't handle all of this and every single fucking hurdle placed in my way because sure I can jump them but sometime I'm gunna just trip and fall on my face and damn if I haven't done that enough but Jesus Christ I've been jumping everything put in my way but I'm ninety percent sure this is where I trip up again and land on my fucking face and I turn everything to shit again because isn't that what I always do?????

21:44

I just want to go straight back to where I was before and it's the biggest struggle not to go find all my razors again and start cutting and I've been smoking cigarette after cigarette because life is killing me right now and I can't handle all this. I don't even know if I should be telling you this because who knows what you'll do but all I feel like is starving and cutting and dying but it's been so long since I've done all that shit and do I really want to start that again but all my body says and all my head says is yes yes yes. 

Flowers