Arterial

I know what to do now, step back three paces and shut myself in. I worked so damn hard to feel again I forgot just how much it hurts sometimes. But anything is better than this. Better than watching myself make one big mistake that I can’t seem to keep myself from making. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to hurt and confuse but both those qualities run through my veins and when I bleed it’s arterial. Arcs of pain and longing spurt from my mangled neck, drenching those around me in the sadness I spent years trying to cut free.