Dear Lost Friend

When I talk about you I cry.
I tell them how much I love you still,
But I follow it with how you're dead.
It's easier to explain.

Better that than how you killed me,
You broke me apart then left me
So I dragged myself from the dust and blood,
To try and glue myself together again.

I have a lot of anger towards you,
For ruining what we had.
A perfect friendship, no pressure no hiding.
Just my words and yours.

I could tell you the truth about myself.
How ugly I felt, inside and out.
But still I think you loved me.
Until you murdered that too.

You took everything I gave you,
Every piece of my soul, heart, and body,
And you crushed it to nothing.
Even when I was begging you not to.

I'm still putting myself back together.
Still figuring out how to live without you
Without the comfort you gave me every day.
I hope you don't read these words.

I miss you though.
I miss your words and care and the look of you
I miss the safety of loving someone
And never once doubting they felt the same.

But I don't need you anymore.
I don't want you anywhere near me.
Sometimes I think and I ask myself,
Do I miss you? Or just what you did for me?